


To Defeat Your Enemy

by Kawaii_Kitty360



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Canon Divergence, Gen, Not Beta Read, ZADF, fluff?, idk how to tag this, idk what this is, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 22:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaii_Kitty360/pseuds/Kawaii_Kitty360
Summary: "You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes, then--"“You’re in my light.”In which Dib aims to defeat Zim, once and for all.





	To Defeat Your Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, hi, listen. You can’t just. Uh. Drop that line. And not expect. Something.
> 
> I’m sorry. 
> 
> This has probably already been done before because. Uh. Hello. That line tho. 
> 
> Anyway, this is really short, dumb, and weird, but I hope you like it anyway. Enjoy!
> 
> ((also i wrote this in like, 45 minutes tops so there are probably a lot of mistakes *big sad face* if you notice any feel free to point them out! thanks))

This was probably his most elaborate and disgusting plan yet. It took years to perfect, years of endless torment and nights spent shivering in horror at what he had to do. The mere thought alone gave him nightmares, chilled him to the bone, but it had to be done.

To destroy Zim, once and for all, it had to be done.

Dib had to shove all his paranormal investigator instincts to the side and go with the flow.

The first order of business was to befriend Zim- something he never, ever, _ever_ imagined himself doing. Not in a billion years. But it had to be done.

Zim, of course, was apprehensive at first, but Dib’s persistent (and sickening) advances to be Zim’s friend soon became too much for Zim to deflect, and, weirdly enough, they found that their friendship worked in some twisted, uncomfortable way- a way that could only spell the downfall of humanity as they knew it. But it had to be done.

Dib and Zim became two peas in a pod, to the point where they could finish each other's sentences, much to the discomfort of his sister, Gaz, who found the entire thing gross. She wasn’t wrong. It was gross. Grosser than anything Dib had to deal with in the past. He would lie awake, unable to sleep and wracked with such violent sickness that the time he was awake was spent with his head in the toilet, struggling to keep dinner in his belly. But it had to be done.

This went on for years, and once Dib turned 18, he sparked the idea to Zim that they should live together! Dib was going off to college soon, and it would be cheaper for them to rent an apartment together so they could still hang out instead of never seeing each other, or either of them having to travel the distance from home to the dorms and back again. Zim had never fully settled into the idea of them actually being friends, and it took some time for him to come around, but he finally did, and Dib felt sick as they packed their things (which were mainly Dib’s things, but GIR had quite a hoard going on, and Zim had some technology from his evil lair below his house) and drove to their new home. Knowing he was under the same roof as someone as evil and sickening as Zim made Dib’s skin crawl, tied his stomach into knots, made him sick to his very core. But it had to be done.

After a few months of living together, Dib found ‘casual’ ways to ‘mix’ their laundry. Zim didn’t have much laundry anyway, and most of the clothes Dib got him when he went shopping for new clothes, Zim never wore, but it had to do. One of the shirts Dib bought him was a black Area 51 shirt, simply because he thought it was ironic. Zim called it ‘Earthling propaganda’ and tossed it aside, but his tune changed when he realized it was that shirt Dib decided to wear one day.

“That’s my shirt, Dib-worm! Take it off!”

“Why? You said you didn’t want it.”

“I said no such thing! Don’t steal my stuff, Diiiibbb!!!”

Dib wore it the entire day. Because it had to be done.

In response, Dib came home to find Zim wearing nearly all of the shirts in Dib’s wardrobe, making him look like some kind of marshmallow creature of darkness, and the sight alone sent Dib into a laughing fit and nearly made him vomit on the carpet. The next day, Dib grabbed another one of Zim’s shirts and walked into the living room to find Zim wearing one of Dib’s, practically swimming in it, due to retaining his small stature while Dib grew. The sight made Dib something close to nauseous. But it had to be done.

It had taken years of planning, years of scheming, and it was only at this point, as he rifled, like some kind of scavenger, through a pile of laundry, tossing his shirts to the side and searching desperately for the only pastel-colored thing in his entire wardrobe, did he realize the conundrum he found himself in.

He did everything right. Everything was going perfectly so far. He studied, he became, they moved in together, and now they were wearing each other’s clothes. It was all going according to plan.

But it was right then that he realized that he never actually planned this far ahead.

What came after wearing your enemy’s clothes? If you had already become them earlier in the plan, then what was there left to do? 

Dib couldn’t come up with anything. He had no idea where to go from there. He had gotten this far, and for what?

Was it too late to back out? Revise his steps, come up with a new plan?

Yeah. It was too late. That much was certain.

Dib clutched the pastel blue shirt in both hands, glaring at the shiny-eyed cupcake that donned the front. So what if it was too late? So what if he didn’t know where to go from here? 

Everything else was going just fine. He could come up with something. He just had to shove his thoughts, worries, concerns- _feelings_\- to the side, and go with the flow.

Because it had to be done.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially, I wanted this to be a little more detailed, but I don't think it would've had the same kinda feel that I wanted it to have if I did take the time and flesh it out, so we kind of get this... hosh-posh, mash-up, mess-of-a-ficlet. Anyway. Sorry if it wasn't a fun read or anything- I needed to take that line and do _something_ with it tho, so here we are lmao. Thanks for reading :} <3


End file.
